


hooked pinkies, and hope.

by applebonsai (strawpples)



Category: ENHYPEN (Band), I-LAND (Korea TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Hurt/Comfort, JayK - Freeform, JayK is underrated, K DEBUT, Light Angst, M/M, Other, Sad, hi this is my self-counseling fic, i-land finals messed me up, slight angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27242146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawpples/pseuds/applebonsai
Summary: Jay had his pretty face covered with his hands, wet from tears and smudged makeup, and he’d look pathetic if he reveals what a mess he’s looking like right now, but Jay couldn’t care less. K-hyung didn’t make it into the debut line-up.orJay and K make a new promise.
Relationships: JayK, K & Park Jongseong | Jay, K (I-LAND) / Park Jongseong | Jay, K / Park Jongseong | Jay
Comments: 8
Kudos: 40





	hooked pinkies, and hope.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [strawberrymilk (strawpples)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawpples/gifts).



> Hi this is my self-counseling fic because I-LAND finals messed me up so much. Broke my heart to know K didn't make it, but very happy for ENHYPEN. Ecstatic for my babie Jungwonie. Mixed feelings. So have a fic instead hehe congrats to all who have their faves debut!

The restrained sniffs and tiny sobbing fills the empty dressing room and honestly, it breaks K’s heart just a little more than the fact that his name wasn’t called into the debut line-up tonight.

“Jay-ah . . .” K calls out, standing defeatedly with his shoulders slightly hunched - not a very K thing to do. He scratched his head and breathed out slowly, eyes still trained on the younger one sitting on the couch. He calls again, “Jay-ah . . .”

There was no answer, only continuous crying. Jay had his pretty face covered with his hands, wet from tears and smudged makeup, and he’d look pathetic if he reveals what a mess he’s looking like right now, but Jay couldn’t care less.

K-hyung didn’t make it into the debut line-up.

The more Jay tells himself that, the more it stings in his chest. He choked out a louder sob and balled his hands into fists, suddenly feeling the sadness and disappointment transforming into anger.

“It’s not fair . . . ! You should’ve-”

K winces at how Jay’s voice sounded like he tried to shout but instead faded at the end into a whisper. He sounds so upset and hopeless and it’s heartbreaking. And K wants to cry too, but even tonight, even right now he is the hyung so he moves to sit down next to Jay instead, wrapping an arm around his shaking shoulders.

“We promised,” Jay mumbled as K rubbed soothing circles on his back, “we promised, K-hyung.” Jay said again, finally uncovering his face to grab a tissue from the box on the coffee table before him. He blew his nose but left his tear-stained cheeks alone.

“Jay-ah,”

“We promised to debut together. We’re supposed to debut together.”

“I know.”

“Sunghoon-ah’s got Jake. And I remember Jungwonie being so dejected when Geonu-hyung got eliminated, but at least he’s got Heeseung-hyung.” Jay says and suddenly he’s crying again, “Why are you leaving me, hyung?”

Another sigh escapes K’s lips and tears start to well up in his eyes, vision getting blurry. He took a deep breath, ruffling Jay’s hair like he always does and he knows from Jay’s expression that he’ll miss this more than ever.

“Hey, Sunghoon-ah and Jake are your best friends, right? You’re 02 line. Inseparable. You guys come in threes.” K says, clearing his throat when it got a little shaky, “And Heeseung-ah and Jungwon-ah love you, you know that. So do Ni-ki and Sunoo.”

“But-”

“We all love you, Jay-ah, no one’s leaving you. You’re not alone. You have them.”

The statement sounds and feels warm but somehow it feels like a goodbye, like a comforting push on the chest, so Jay slams his palms on his thighs in frustration.

“I want to debut with you,” he cries out, eyes now looking straight into K’s, “I want to be in the same group as you. I want to practice and perform with you!” It was honest, raw, and K was shaken up a bit when Jay says, “Without you, it just doesn’t make sense, K-hyung.”

K was the one to break eye contact, choosing to stare at the tissue box rather than Jay’s fiery eyes. He nodded after a minute or two, “I know. I want to debut with you, too, Jay-ah.”

Jay seemed to tense up less.

“But what’s done is done,” K nods again with a sad smile, “I’m sure it’s for the best. Maybe they have other plans for me. Who knows, maybe I’ll debut next year?”

And Jay can’t do this, he’s on a rollercoaster of emotions––forget resentment, anger, and shame, this was a whole new collection of feelings. He hates it.

“Listen,” K starts, patting Jay’s head again because it’s their thing, and K wants him to remember that. “You made it. You debuted! You did so well, Jay-ah, I’m so proud of you. You know that? You’re gonna be great. You have to be good and grateful for your members, and you have to take care of them, alright?”

Jay’s jaw was set, clenching and unclenching, debating whether to say things he’ll regret or not. He chooses to _listen_ because that’s what his K-hyung asked him to do.

“Here, let’s make a new promise,” K says, shifting in his seat so he can face Jay and his mess of a heart, so open that K can see all the big emotions he’s struggling with right now. K wishes he can take it all away and replace them with happy, good excitement, so he offers, “Jay-ah, you and I will perform on the same stage again one day. Let’s make this our new promise.”

Jay’s eyes (smudged eyeshadow and all) darted up to meet K’s and he looks unsure, but when K brings out his pinky, Jay mirrors his hyung anyway.

“One day you and I are gonna perform together. We’re gonna dance together and sing together, and it’ll feel like our I-LAND days. Except better, because we both would be idols instead of trainees.” K smiles, this time it felt less sad, but genuine all the same.

It took Jay a whole minute to overthink things, and before he could open his mouth to say anything else, K brought his pinky up to Jay’s face, so who was Jay to not hook his own? Their promise was sealed.

Jay doesn’t know when that promise will ever be fulfilled, doesn’t know that the rest of the Enhypen members and Daniel were outside the dressing room door and feeling better because they were worried about Jay, doesn’t know how to face them later, and doesn’t know how to handle days without K-hyung in the future.

But what Jay does know, it that he will do what K told him to, to love and appreciate and take care of his members, to do his best for Enhypen’s debut, to be grateful and to give back to their beloved Engenes, and that his K-hyung isn’t leaving him, he’s only a phone call away. Always.

It didn’t matter if there were rumors of a secret member debuting with Enhypen the next few weeks, or if there was a flicker of hope in Jay’s heart that it might be K-hyung, because that one day a tall-figured shadow showed himself into the light of their practice room one day, Jay instantly knew.

“Hey, guys. What’s up?”

He never smiled so wide before, Jay thinks he broke his face. Ni-ki had run past him, then it was Heeseung, but the moment Jake and Sunghoon screamed in excitement to greet the newcomer, something crackled in Jay and he launched himself so hard he thought he flew.

Crashing into K’s broad frame, Jay released all the laughter bubbling in him, “K-hyung, hi!”

A pat on his head, and Jay missed that so _fucking_ much.

“Hi, Jay-ah.”

Time to make their promise come true.

**Author's Note:**

> I was in denial for so long ever since the final episode, so this is me saying that whatever happens regarding K (him debuting as secret member or debuting in another group) I will support both him and ENHYPEN. Still have a sliver of hope until Nov 30, but even if not, then it's fine. Hope you enjoyed this! I miss JayK hehe :)


End file.
